Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
