I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
