id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
