i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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