I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
