can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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