I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
