I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
