3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
