No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
