NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
