How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
