how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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