so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
