He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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