he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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