I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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