You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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