Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
