Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
