He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
