I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
