Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
