just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
