If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Small penises have feelings too.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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