Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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