Sponge bath it is.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
