i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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