i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
