Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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