no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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