Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I didn't notice because vodka
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
