are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
