Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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