Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
COCAINE IS GR8
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
