I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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