I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
