it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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