if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When did angry sex become our thing?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
