I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize