we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
