kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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