And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
