Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you never un-have a 4some
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
