my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
