it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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