I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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