he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
