Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
