YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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