do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
