It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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