Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
