fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
