like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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