Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
