I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
