Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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