Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
