the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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